The mourning has begun here at the Ken Socrates World News Organization as we remember seventeen fallen comrades who lost their lives when the school bus transporting them to the annual Socrates Booze 'n' Badminton Bonanza veered off the highway and flipped down an embankment in Limerick, Maine. Investigators on the scene report that speed was most definately a factor in the crash and that, although seventeen fatalities were reported, one individual was assuredly dead hours before the incident, most likely due to alcohol poisoning. The vehicle's driver, one Bill "Leadfoot" Castillo, 84, possessed a spotless driving record, although many would point to the fact that this was because he was never actually allowed a valid driver's license due to various mental, visual and auditory impairments. To us, however, he was a man who surmounted massive disabilities to become a valuable member of our team and remained so right up to his final, screamingly horrific moments on earth. He, and those others listed below, will be dearly missed yet never forgotten.
In Memoriam:
In lieu of flowers and cards, the families request that donations be made in the deceased's names to The Ken Socrates Compulsive Gamblers Counselling Association. Donations should be in cash form only and be submitted c/o Ken Socrates at The World News Organization Headquarters.
In related news, The Ken Socrates World News Organization would like to announce that we are now accepting applications for the following positions:
Resumes can be submitted via e-mail HERE. Thank you very much.
© Ken Socrates 2005. All rights reserved.
Tragic Bus Accident Wipes Out Ken's Staff
The wreckage, including 324 broken beer bottles,
three bongs and various adult novelty devices.
